


Koi No Yokan

by ailetei



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Library, Backstory, Crying, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Falling In Love, M/M, Multiple chapters, Scars, poor suga
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-15 20:13:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5798407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ailetei/pseuds/ailetei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sugawara is finally in college after a rough past. He doesn't know what he wants until he comes face to face with it. Something that resounds with a melody of soft guitar in the winter and a taste of tea in the summer, SOMEONE.</p><p>(THIS STORY HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It was Spring

**Author's Note:**

> THIS STORY HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED
> 
>  
> 
> Koi No Yokan is a japanese phrase meaning the feeling you get when you meet someone and you know the two of you will fall in love. It's different from Love at First Sight. It's a truly beautiful idea.
> 
> ps: If you want to put on your favorite sad piano pieces while reading this, it will enhance your experience by 35% I promise

A number of months ago, Sugawara Koushi fell in love for the first time. He couldn't forget what it was like. The breeze was chilly that day, he remembered because he left his jacket at home and was late to class. It was his first month of college and he was just settling in.

“Suga! Wanna come to my place today?” A brown haired beauty approaches and wrap his arm around the shorter man.

“Ah.. Umm.. Y-Yeah, sure.” Suga blushes and averts his eyes.

He’s been casually dating Oikawa for 3 weeks now. Not that he particularly likes him, but more like he’s just naturally inclined to do things like this. He may not seem like that kind of guy, but the shyest and sweetest of people have probably gone through the worst of times. Times that leave their marks and scars….

Thirteen years ago, Sugawara’s father fell into a state of emotional instability after losing his wife and he began drinking more and more. Since the age of 6, Suga had been on his own. He thought he could be independent and he shut everyone out. He shut them out until he just couldn't anymore. This 15 year old was completely broken by then. Every night he cried and cried and he craved what he could never get. As he got older, he filled in those gaps with the physical attention he needed. About once a week, he got together with a guy, sometimes the same guy and slept with them…

Even though countless bite marks tainted his beautiful skin and nightmares stained his memories, he was able to keep that sweet smile on his face and kindness in his heart.

………………………………………………………

“And that concludes our lesson for today. Everyone make sure to read chapter 3 and take notes for the upcoming quiz.” The professor declares loudly as students are already zipping up their bags and making their way to the door. 

Sugawara, among those students. He steps into the crisp winter air. His classes were done for the day and it was only 12. When he gets to the train station, there aren't many people. He puts in his earbuds and takes a seat. He loves when there are barely any people in the trains so he could look out at the city. The scenery on the way to his house is gorgeous. The train passes over a large large lake and beyond the lake you can see the apartments and other buildings come into view, closer and closer as the train moved. There were lots of trees too, but they were all bare from winter.  
The click of a door, and he’s finally home. There’s still some time left before he needed to be at Oikawa’s house so Suga decides to shower.

He runs the steaming hot water over his pale skin and lather himself with coffee scented body wash and peach scented shampoo. The bathroom fills with gentle aromas and heat. When he is finally done, he dries off and steps into his warm bedroom. Damn, Tokyo winters are so cold.  
About half an hour later, Suga’s out of the house again. He stops by a convenience store to grab a quick lunch. A strawberry roll bread and a hot chocolate.

Oikawa lives a bit far. The train ride to his luxurious apartment is quite boring, lots of tunnels and underground stations. Suga nearly fell asleep on the ride. By the time he reaches the apartment, it’s 3.

“Oh, Suga, come on in.”

He fit in so well with the overly neat and spacey living room they were currently in. The two were on the couch making out and just going at it. Nothing new to the both of them. But in the middle of a particularly gentle kiss, a thought suddenly came to Suga. He had never loved because he had never been loved. All of his flings were so casual, they never really meant anything, in fact, a lot were hard to remember. The thought fades as Suga’s mind clouds with Oikawa.

………………………………………………

“Alright, I think I’ll get going now.” Suga climbs out of Oikawa’s huge-ass bed and begins putting on his clothes.

“Leaving already, Suga?” Oikawa whines

“Yeah haha, it’s getting late, plus I live far.” 

“I see.”

“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow at school. Goodnight, Oikawa.”

“Night, lovely.”

And that was as easy as it was. Maybe he should break this one off too, huh? Suga shrugs and continues his walk to the train station. 

 

A month passes quickly. The cold winter has finally melted into a pink spring. Oikawa seems to be behaving more like a boyfriend. He takes Suga on dates and they go to each other’s houses. Everything seems pretty normal.

“Ne, Suga.. Next week is our anniversary..Is there anything you would like to do?” Oikawa inquires.

“Um.. Haha.. I-I don’t really have any preferences.” Sugawara tugs at his hair and smiles.

“Okey! I’ll surprise you, then!” Oikawa beams.

“I-It’s okay.. You don’t have to.” Sugawara blushes slightly. “In fact.. I think I have a project that day.. I’m sorry, Oikawa.”

Oh man this was going to be problematic. Oikawa has always been like this. Everytime Suga doesn't have time for him, he gets depressed and mean.

“Oh… I see.” Oikawa looks down at the ground. “Well.. Fine, I’m gonna head on home. See you ‘round.” 

“Alright, see you around.” Suga shrugs it off like always. He really should break it off soon, but he’s scared of what might happen if he does.

Their anniversary day finally arrives. Suga wanted to apologize so he buys Oikawa some chocolates and he gets a bag of homemade sweets in return. 

“Good luck on your project today, Suga. I’ll see you after you’re done?” 

“Yeah.” Suga breathes a sigh of relief. Thank goodness he’s happy now.  
Sugawara’s last class comes to a close and he sighs. Another 2 hours dedicated to his project… He slowly walks across campus to the library.

He’s never actually been to the library here. But it’s a lot prettier than he expected. It’s hidden behind a cluster of trees, a large building with huge window panes lining every inch of the wall. They reflect the bright noon sky and Suga is kind of in awe.

Inside doesn't let him down either. There are so many shelves of light colored wood all placed evenly. Every nook of the shelves are filled with books and more books. The light streamed in through the windows gorgeously. The layout of the place was simple and cleared Suga’s mind with a refreshing sort of feeling.

Every table had only one person at it. Suga quietly almost tip toes past to look for any other tables when he sees him. He is so taken aback by what he sees. A black haired student sits at the very last table in the row. He was looking down at the book on the table but Suga could still see his eyes. And when he did, his heart almost stopped and he had to remind himself to breath again. Brown glistening eyes shifted from the pages to meet his. A slight breeze knocks Suga back into reality and he suddenly feels like crying for some reason. But he pushes those teary thoughts away and takes a seat in front diagonal of the man, head and heart racing.

The other looks up. And he as well is taken aback. Looking at Sugawara’s face, he felt a sense of familiarity and nostalgia, happiness and sadness, all at the same time. The look on Suga’s face was telling him there was something… He just has to get to know him. But he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He notices he is being stared at by him and he blushes which makes Suga blush as well and they both frantically return to doing their work.

An hour ticks by and Sugawara is completely pooped. He hasn't gotten a single thing written on his paper, all he could think about were those pair of brown eyes in front of him. But every time he looks up and sees that tuft of black hair and that gentle face, he couldn't bring himself to leave. The man closes his book starts packing away his things.. but is that… is that reluctancy Suga sees? The man smiles at Suga, slightly embarrassed, and quickly excuses himself from the table.

H-he…He’s.. Suga couldn't get him out of his mind. He closes his textbooks, shoves them into his bag and runs to the front of the library. The list must be there. And he finds it. The last name written was…

‘Sawamura Daichi.’ In extremely neat handwriting falling slightly off the lines. Suga glances at what’s written after.

‘Petals of Winter.’ So he likes to read books about love…. Sugawara’s chest fills with a sweetness he’s never known and he runs out of the glass doors in a hurry. He doesn't know where he is running to but all he could hope was that his feet would bring him to the man he suspects had just stolen his heart.

When the sky starts turning yellow, Suga realizes he is not getting anywhere and he’s been running around campus for the past hour. His heart sinks inside of his chest. That’s right… Who does he think he is? Of course someone with such a spectacular smile couldn't fall in love with someone like me. I’m riddled with scars and hickeys that have already contaminated my body. My heart is not what Daichi thinks it is. There is no way someone like that could like a vile person like me… Sugawara clutches his heart and the tears begin falling.

“Suga?” Is that you?” A familiar voice calls out.

Right.. There’s this guy.

“Yeah,” Suga sniffles. “I uh, right… I’m done for the day. Wanna head to your place?”

“Actually, since it’s out anniversary, let’s go to this cafe I found.”

Suga nods and takes Oikawa’s hand, letting him lead him into the car. 

From the trees, Daichi peers up from his book just in time to see the couple walk off. It hit him. There was no way he could love someone like me. Plus he already has a stunning boyfriend who drives a fancy car. Damn, who am I to think that someone that beautiful could ever be with me. Damn it. Daichi slams his head into his hands and rubs at his eyes but his brows are knit and he doesn't feel okay.


	2. Fate Isn't Supposed to Taste Like Cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa prompts a date on a stormy summer day, but things do not go as planned. Sugawara hasn't cried like this since he was little. Just what happened this time? And just who did they bump into on their date?

“Sugawara… Sugawara!”

Grey brown eyes blinked wide as if he’s just been hit. 

“Oh! right.. yes?” 

“The answer?” Silence…. “The answer to question 35, young man.”

“Oh!..Oh.. Uh….” Sugawara rushed to find the page. “B.. The answer is B.”

Now he remembers. Last night he barely slept. After going to the cafe, Oikawa took him on a walk through expensive parts of town and they ended up back at his giant apartment. Suga couldn't stop thinking about Daichi even through the night, he tossed and turned in Oikawa’s bed. He kept thinking about those eyes that reminded him of a guitar song he used to play. It went very slow but he only played it when he was wrapped in a blanket of happiness, which wasn't very often. But Daichi’s eyes gave off the light of that song. And his smile reminded Suga of a cup of hot cafe au lait he drank on his way home from volleyball practice one time in high school. The taste filled Suga with a feeling of warmth he didn't understand. That coffee place went out of business. He remembered….

Oikawa is there again, by his car waiting for Suga. They go home and study and Oikawa makes dinner. Things go on like this for the next few months and seasons change again, the summertime rainy season it here. Suga’s mind still completely inhabited with thoughts of Daichi. But every time he would lie to Oikawa about a project or research, Daichi was never at the library. Every 2 weeks or so, Sugawara would see if Daichi was at the table, but he never was. He did though, check out 3 more books over that time. He’d met him 3 months ago.

“Hey, sugar,” Oikawa started calling him that because he thinks it’s cute, but it’s honestly embarrassing to Suga. “Tomorrow I have something planned. I found this cute place downtown and I was wondering if you are free.” 

“Oh, yeah sure.” Suga smiles. “It’s raining again tomorrow right?”

“Yeah, but don’t worry, the car will keep us dry, and I’ll bring an umbrella for you.” Oikawa winked. “Pick you up tomorrow, sugar.” He kisses him on the forehead and leaves.

When Suga wakes up the next morning, he feels kind of strange. Maybe it’s the weather or maybe it’s the date tonight, but there’s something tugging at his heart today. He pushes it out of his mind and hurriedly gets dressed for school.

As the day progressed, the rain pelted harder and harder. The usual bright blue skies were now almost black, but somehow it makes Suga feel more comfortable, even though he’s terrified of lightning and thunder.

By his last class, the news announces strong down pours and possible wind damage. It’s quite scary outside, Suga can hear the wails of the wind and the constant loud pitter pattering of the rain. When class ends, he runs outside to find Oikawa with an umbrella waiting for him. Oh thank goodness. Oikawa wraps his arm around Suga’s small shoulder and they walk to the car.

“I don’t think we’ll be able to walk around town today, but I’ve made reservations at a really nice cafe I found online.” Oikawa really is a nice guy, despite the rocky start their relationship had. Suga’s anxiety is a bit on edge, but he nods and smiles.

The outside of the cafe is still cozy looking despite the dark sky and surging rain. Red bricks glow with glass fire wall lamps. The walls are lined with neatly trimmed green bushes. Oikawa opens the dark wood door for Suga and they step in and….. NO. WAY. 

Suga almost dashes out of the cafe right then and there, but his anxiety keeps him from moving a muscle. He felt his heart spilling out of his chest and butterflies in his stomach, he doesn't know what to do.

Sitting at one of the tables nearest to the window was black hair and brown eyes. A copy of ‘Petals of Winter’ lay on the table next to a slice of matcha cake and glass of iced coffee. When the shop door opened and the bell on the hinge rang and Daichi had looked up, almost choking on his coffee. But he quickly averted his when he saw that Suga was panicking. 

Suga calms down a little after Daichi’s eyes are no longer on him. Thank goodness Oikawa didn't notice. They are seated at a nice booth on the other side of Daichi, but almost directly to the right.

Suga takes a look at the menu, to hide his fluster, but he had to say, he really was impressed. The cakes and drinks all looked and sounded splendid.

“Good afternoon, can I start you guys off with some drinks?”

“Yes, I’ll have a cup of milk tea with less sugar and more cream.” Oikawa smiles his playboy smile at the waitress.

“U-um.. I-I’ll have th-the.. OUCH.” Suga’s mind was racing so fast he bit his tongue. He pointed to the menu item instead and blushed really hard. Daichi of course was watching all this and he chuckles to himself and shakes his head quietly, but a smile did stay on his face.

“Are you okay, Suga? You don’t seem like you’re doing well.” Oikawa sounds almost actually concerned, but like hell he could ever be.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” Sugawara reassures.

When their food arrives, they eat with small talk and Suga constantly glances at Daichi to see if he was going to leave, but he still hadn’t. The rain did get harder and the skies darker. Daichi just kept on reading and drinking his coffee. 

The ringing of a phone draws Suga back to Oikawa who was on the phone now with someone he didn't know. He never knew these people though. 

“Huh? You want to meet right now? I’m on a date though.” Oikawa chuckled. “No no..” Another chuckle. “Yeah, no, not anyone important.”

Suga isn’t really surprised. They aren’t seriously dating after all, even though Oikawa treated him kindly, he really did sleep and mess around with other people too. 

But this comment really slapped Daichi in the face. What did he just say over the phone? D-did that guy just call him unimportant? Daichi’s head was all over the place. His feelings were dancing back and forth from anger to sadness to anger and to sadness again. He doesn't even know Suga’s name, but he felt like he needed to interfere. 

“Hey, Suga, seems something is up and I’m gonna go meet up with Iwaizumi right now. See you later. Oh, I’ll pay by the way. Love ya, sugar.”

“R-right, I’ll see you later, Oikawa.” Suga smiles again. He wasn't trouble or bothered by this at all… well maybe.. maybe he kind of always had been. He’d always been tossed around like trash and it’s his own choices to be with guys that leave him in places like these. Now his only problem is how he was going to get home. He sighs rather loudly and that’s more than enough to make Daichi stand up and walk to his table. Daichi’s mind was completely blank, it was like his mind was telling him not to but his legs were just bringing him closer and closer to the man he’s afraid has occupied his mind for the last 6 months.

Suga looks up from the ground he’d been staring at for the past 10 minutes, his eyes slightly tear stained from thinking of his past again. But he looks up and comes face to face with Daichi. 

Normally, he would have tried to act like he was okay or wiped away his tears or lied… but why… why were his tears falling more and more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tehe, sorry for hurting Sugawara so much, but it'll get better from here on out I promise haha. Also, I really apologize for changing tenses from present to past towards the end of this chapter, but I really feel like it's easier to put emotion into past tense :P Sorry bout that <3   
> Hope you enjoyed and I'll be writing more soon ^_^


	3. Purity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally talk and a storm brings the two closer than ever

The rain outside was crashing down hard now, like it wanted to come in through the windows. Outside was darker now even though it was dark before, the weather approached with tears. 

Inside was warm, but things seemed even more tense than the rain.

“Y-You… A-Are you okay?” Daichi stared Suga straight in the eyes.

“Y—a..” A spite of coughing followed indecipherable words. Suga inhaled too much air when he was about to speak, gosh, it was embarrassing. After he straightened himself out, he wiped away at his tears.

“Y…Yes.. I’m fine.” Suga whispered, but Daichi heard it loudly.

Daichi was about to say something when he was interrupted by a waitress at the front of the store announcing loudly.

“Report from the local weather stations: A typhoon is going to strike Tokyo in an hour. It’s already getting bad now. Please get home as soon as possible!”

Suga’s face was burning up from hearing Daichi’s voice. Oh my goodness, it was the most sincere thing he’d ever heard. His anxiety couldn't take it, he took the chance to run out of the store as fast as possible.

“WAIT!” Daichi quickly paid the store and ran after Suga.

Suga was out of ideas, he was completely trapped. The rain was so hard by now that he could barely see across the narrow street. How was he going to make it home in under an hour, he was going to be in real trouble oh man.. Suga struggled to get service on his phone to try to get a taxi, but it was too late to keep running from what he wanted.

He heard the shop bells ring again and a clack right in front of him was startling. Suga looked to the right to find Daichi standing right by him with an extra umbrella.

“Here. How far away do you live?” Daichi was much more confident now. And he was absolutely in love as well…

“……… an hour and thirty minutes away…” Suga muttered shyly, avoiding all eye contact.

“What, that’s too far!…. We’ve got no choice…” Before Suga could protest, Daichi grabbed his hand. And oh was it warm and nostalgic. All of the anxiety went away and Suga was blushing, running behind Daichi through the storm. Even though they had umbrellas, by the time they reached Daichi’s apartment, both men were drenched from head to toe. Daichi’s room was on the 4th floor of a fancy apartment complex, almost as expensive as Oikawa’s stupid place. 

Suga’s head continued to look at the ground which gave Daichi the impression that he was sad, but in fact, it was the exact opposite. Sugawara was trying to hide his blush as best as possible. Oh gosh, he was so nervous… He had never felt that way when holding someone’s hand before. He’d never been so nervous. He’d never felt so pure.

“D—Daichi…” 

Brown eyes swiveled back at impressive speed.

“H—how do you know…. my name?” 

Sugawara panicked again.. “OH! Oh my goodness! Y-You don’t even know my name!…I-I’m S-Sugawara.. K-Koushi!” The words came choppily to Suga’s lips. “I.. I read your name on the library list 6 months ago… I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Daichi stared at the guy. “There’s nothing wrong with that, Sugawara-san.”

Suga’s ears were burning. He didn't know what this feeling was. Getting so hyped just from hearing his name being said by Daichi.. Suga has never felt this before, but he was starting to think this is what they call Love.

“Let’s hurry inside! You’re going to catch a cold!” Daichi quickly pulled the open and directed Suga inside. It was clean, but cozy despite the space. He had potted plants and nice light colored wood floors like the shelves in the library.

“I’m sorry for being so sudden Sugawara-san, but you’re going to have to remove your clothes so I can put them in the dryer.”

Suga blushed, surprised. “R-right! Oh.. Uhm just call me Suga.” And he began to take off his clothes.

“I’ve put a spare set of my own clothes on the table for you to change into. Once you’ve done so, come give your wet clothes to me.”

“Okay.”

Suga reached for the set of well folded clothes and reluctantly buried his face inside of it and Oh he nearly melted. It smelt so nice, like the scent of cherry blossoms with a rich pearly touch to it. He quickly threw on the much too baggy shirt and alright fitting pants and went to give Daichi his sopping wet clothes.

“The typhoon seems to be here,” Daichi said, signaling to his balcony where it was pitch black but the street lamps allowed them to see that the wind was terrifying as though it could break trees and the rain was just crashing down so hard that the glass seemed as though it might shatter. Suga shivered and his anxiety was starting to bubble back up… he was shaking.

“Suga-san… Are you.. possibly… scared of this weather?” Daichi looked worried.

There was no answer from Suga but he shakily made his way to curl up on the couch. A particularly loud BOOM sounded outside, shaking the entire structure they were in. Suga was almost crying at this point, but he felt something on his back. He looked behind him hesitantly to see that Daichi had draped a soft pastel blue blanket over him. A blush immediately grazed his cheeks as Daichi sat on the couch, dangerously close. 

“Oh, right, Here’s some water.” Daichi gave Suga a glass of chilled water with a smile that calmed him down. 

“Th—Thank you..”

Daichi wanted to ask so bad. He wanted to know Suga, he wanted to know why he was hurting himself like this. He wanted to know why he cried like that. He wanted to know what kind of person he was, and most of all, he wanted to know why Suga looked at him with those soft eyes.

“S-s-Suga!..” Damn it, he blurted his name out again..

“Ye-yes.” Suga was still curled up in the corner of the couch, blanket wrapped tightly around his entire body, but his face was buried in his knees, hiding his blush. Daichi’s body was waaaaaayyyy too close. He could feel the heat, both their hearts were beating fast. Suga needed a hug the most right now, he wondered if Daichi could tell. But he’s never been this way with any of his other partners before. Suga had never felt his heart race and his blush creep up so immediately and his legs shook from the feeling, not from the rain. He battled his inner thoughts as Daichi’s stare pierced his heart over and over again.

“You.. Why are you going out with that man?” Daichi’s face appeared in Sugawara’s view, his hand now touching Suga’s over the blanket, rain pounding and crashing on the windows. Daichi’s face was inches away, he looked so serious…

“I…,” tears welled up in Suga’s soft eyes. “I don’t know!” He nuzzled his face into the blanket, soaking the area with tears as he began sobbing loudly. “I don’t know, I don’t know, okay?.. I.. I don’t know.” Suga’s hands pulled at the blanket. Gosh, he felt like a fool!

“Sugawara-san. Please move your hand…” Daichi didn't wait for him to follow the instructions, he gently guided Suga’s hands away from his face, still clutching the blanket tightly.  
“Let me see your face.”

Suga lifted his head slightly to see the heart pounding sight. Daichi was right in front of him, their noses almost touching. He must have looked so pathetic. His eyes were red, nose was pink, and his cheeks smudged with tears.

“I… I’m sorry…” Sugawara’s brows scrunched together in concern and another drop trickled from his eye down to his chin where it was soaked up by the blanket. Suga’s eyes shut tight, not wanting to stare at those brown eyes. He felt warm hands on his cheek, thumb wiping at the tears.

“Suga…” Daichi whispered softly. “You’re okay… You’ll be just fine.” He traced pet Suga’s fluffy and slightly damp gray hair as the man’s breathing evened out a bit more.

“I… I…” Suga opened his eyes again, slowly this time. “I’ve wanted to talk to you for a while now.”

Daichi wasn't surprised by that, but he was surprised that Suga said it.

“Oikawa.. He isn't a terrible guy.” Suga mumbled. “The way he is with me… I don't really care. Even if I did… I deserve it.”

Daiki was shocked once again. “Wh—why do you think you think you deserve it? I think Suga-san is a great person!” 

“No… Daichi.. You don't know.. I’m not who you think I am. I’m not the nice, cheerful person everyone sees me as. I’m not pure…” Suga trembles a little and Daichi seated himself by the other.

“I want to know, then. I want to know the real Suga.” A pause. Daichi noticed that Suga was hesitating. “I promise I won’t dislike you. I think you are wonderful, nothing can change my mind.” Daichi reassured and gave a radiant smile.

“U-Um…Ah.. Umm…Sorry, I’m not very good with introducing myself haha.” Suga was starting to let loose finally and he slowly let his pulled up legs to fall to a cross.

“That’s okay, I’ll help you.” Diachi’s eyes glimmered with anticipation and excitement. “My name is Daichi Sawamura. I’m 20, majoring in economics. My hobbies are volleyball and cooking. What about you?”

Suga chuckles light heartedly and Daichi is glad.

“My name is Sugawara Koushi. I’m 19, majoring in literature. My hobbies… oh! you said volleyball? I like volleyball too!”

“Really? Were you on a high school team?”

“Yeah.. Mukaiyama. I was the regular setter.”

“Wow! That’s amazing! Mukaiyama huh? I was on the Karasuno team.. Wait a minute! We were in the same prefecture! We played you guys once.. I wonder if you were there… I don’t remember. I was the wing spiker and the captain!”

“So our positions corresponded huh? Haha, you must’ve been a wonderful captain.”

“You think so? Haha.. What’s your favorite food, Suga?”

“I like sweet things but not too sweet… peach flavored or mango…”

“That’s so like-you haha, I like sweet things too.. like red bean and chocolate.”

They went on like this for almost an hour and Suga had completely forgotten about the storm. Somehow he had wound up with his head resting against the very edge of the sofa in a very contemplating sort of way, but he was having fun. Suga hasn't talked to someone like this since he was a freshman in high school.

“What about your family, Suga? You haven't said anything about them…” Daichi didn't know he was stepping into dangerous territory with this, but the look on Suga’s face which went from light to dark indicated he probably shouldn't have asked.

“My family….” Suga’s eyes suddenly lost their glow as his heart sank. 

“Suga-san…. You don’t have to. It’s my fault for as—.”

“No… I want to tell you.” W-what? Suga was surprised.. He’d never ever ever told anyone about his family before. It was something he didn't even discuss with himself… but something told him he needed to tell Daichi.

“My family, you see… My mom died when I was 6 so from then on was just me and my dad. My dad was so torn that he began drinking and.. and well he didn't really know how to care for me. So since then, I started to learn to buy groceries and cook and take myself to school and ride the train. It was hard at first of course. I was only 6, but over time I got the hang of it… I was always jealous of my friends and classmates. They always had time to play and go to their after-school clubs…. And their mothers always made delicious lunches for them. I felt betrayed and robbed of a childhood when I would see their faces light up at their favorite food or when their moms and dads picked them up from school.” Sugs hugged one of his knees close to his chest. “But I did well.. I made it through elementary school alone and middle school was harder. I didn't have many friends, but I got better at making things so I had more time to do what I wanted. I got a job at a local convenience store so I could start saving up for college. It was actually kind of fun.. working….” He stared at the floor when he was talking.

“Suga….” Daichi, he had no idea.

“When high school came, I dedicated myself to running my family and maintaining my grades as well as working my part time job and being on the volleyball team. But I guess I was pretty depressed without even knowing it. I cried myself to sleep a lot because I knew nobody cared that I was working so hard. I was the only one who appreciated what I did and I thought that would be enough for me, but the less I loved myself, the more I realized that I was worthless.” Suga was surprised he wasn't crying at this point.

“So I… I looked to other things for comfort. In the middle of my freshman year, I… I b-began sleeping around.” The look on Suga’s face was more terrifying than the information. His eyes were painted with tears that didn't fall, but collected. His eyebrows were tightly knit in distress and his lips trembled, but his body remained calm.

“I damaged my body for the physical touch I thought I needed. I damaged my precious childhood with my choices.. If I’d just…” A cough prompted the tears to fall.  
“I… I’m sorry..” Suga’s lips quivered and he tried to bite them to stop.

“For what?”

“I’m not who you think I am.. I mean.. You probably think I’m just trash that’s been discarded over and over again…”

“I don’t think that.”

“See, I told you, you woul—huh?” Suga lifted his head to look at Daichi.

“I don’t see you as anything other than who I saw you as the first time I met you in the library. Suga.. you’re right here. Just because you're hiding behind those scars doesn't mean I don’t know where your heart is, Suga. Your heart is purer than any I’ve seen. I’m only surprised you were able to remain that way after all you’ve been through, you know.”

Did he just.. what? What did he just say to me? Suga’s mind couldn't process it. His heart couldn’t handle it. In the past he’d been called a slut and liar. Someone who tricked people into believing he was good but was actually bad. He’d been called a whore and a filthy person, but never in his 19 years of life has anyone ever told him he was pure. Though he could barely understand, he was even more confused as to why he was crying again, gosh, it had to have been the 5th time today, but he was crying and crying, just sobbing, his eyes strained and sore.

“Sugawara-san.” That was what he heard before Daichi had his strong arms wrapped around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, honestly I had no idea how to make Suga cry at exactly the right time so I made him cry every time... Sorry sorry sorry! But I promise, he did cry happy tears at one point. I hope you guys enjoyed and Chapter 4 will be out sometime this week. I apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes, until then.
> 
> See you guys soon! ^_^

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks everyone for reading! I hope to continue this fic as a long story on going kind of thing. Aghhhh poor Suga and Daichi. I hope you enjoyed and as always, I apologize for spelling or grammar errors ^_^
> 
> See you guys soon
> 
> ps: honestly I don't know what happened in chapters 1 and 2, but my writer's block was so bad that both chapters were probably TERRIBLY executed, please forgive me <3


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